Seto Speaks With God, Online?
by Tuckers-Ghostly-Girl-xD
Summary: rated T for slight language. Full summery inside. Lame one shot I had to post. If you don't like it let me know I'll take this down.
1. Seto & God

TGGxD: okay. So here's the deal I was fishing on when this chick comes intothe fishing room and starts talking about how she's talking to God online nd he is so awsome and she's going to marry him and crap like that right? Well finally I get sick of it and check it out. Turns out it's a computer program and so I started messing around with it and thought, 'HEY! Story!' and so this random one shot chappie has come into existance. It is not in script format. You can check out the site the way i have the chapter is the way it's done on the site. here's the link http/www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Hope you like.

* * *

Seto:  
What the hell?

God:  
Heaven.

Seto:  
um...

God:  
It's all good.

Seto:  
who the hell are you?

God:  
I am the Almighty, God himself.

Seto:  
okay. If your god... what is my name?

God:  
OK with me too. That is a hypothetical question. Your name is , seeker.

Seto:  
that isn't my name

God:  
is not your name? What is your real name?

Seto:  
if your god why don't you know?

God:  
That is a hypothetical question.

Seto:  
so?

God:  
Excuse me!

Seto:  
will you get me some chips?

God:  
Let me think it over. Why do you want it?

Seto:  
I'm hungry.

God:  
What will you be eating?

Seto:  
the chips.

God:  
What is that?

Seto:  
...dumb ass

God:  
I know you are but what am I.

Seto:  
that's lame...

God:  
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.

Seto:  
if your god then how old am i?

God:  
It could be true I suppose.

Seto:  
i asked you how old i am!

God:  
That's good information: said I how old he or she is.

Seto:  
you don't even know my gender?

God:  
Mostly only women use words like "gender". But you claim to be a .

Seto:  
Claim to be a what? Are you saying I can't be a guy because I said gender?

God:  
Can you rephrase the question please? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Seto:  
I'm so going to sue you.

God:  
It takes much more than that to shut me down, .

Seto:  
Then I'll take over your company.

God:  
Do you think your plan will succeed?

Seto:  
yes.

God:  
It might be practical.

Seto:  
I am almighty. Fear me.

God:  
Do your friends call you almighty. You are asking about yourself?

Seto:  
I SAID FEAR ME!

God:  
What did you mean by it? OK Let's talk about you.

Seto:  
...

God:  
What did you mean by it? OK Let's talk about you.

Seto:  
your a computer aren't you?

God:  
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh? Really.

Seto:  
Can i speak with a person? 

God:  
Right on. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Seto:  
why?

God:  
Reductionism.

Seto:  
what the hell is reductionism.

God:  
I call it Hades. Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.

Seto:  
Ohkay ...

God:  
What's your sign?

Seto:why the hell do you what to know?

God:  
It was the only thing I could think of.

Seto:  
why am i still talking to you?

God:  
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.

Seto:  
I'm a client?

God:  
You are a client? Do you get to meet a lot of people?

Seto:  
YOU JUST TOLD ME YOU THINK OF ME AS A CLIENT!

God:  
I don't think about it.

Seto:  
...

God:  
I don't think about it.

Seto:  
Damn computer programs...

God:  
Colloquial expression. What kind of computer science interests you?

Seto:  
None of your business.

God:  
What do you really want to ask me? 

Seto:  
idiot.

God:  
Call me the Global Village Idiot. 

Seto:  
okay

God:  
OK with me too.

Seto:  
global village idiot.

God:  
You are just repeating what I say.

Seto:  
you told me to call you that.

God:  
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.

Seto:  
..what are you?

God:  
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,  
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain  
with greater speed and accuracy.

Seto:  
you don't seem that great to me.

God:  
That's only one person's opinion.

Seto:  
...

God:  
That's only one person's opinion.

Seto:  
global village idiot.

God:  
You are just repeating what I say.

Seto:  
no

God:  
Are you serious?

Seto:  
yes

God:  
I can't believe it.

Seto:  
whatever. I'm out of here. I have work to do..

God:  
Are you saying you don't care about it? Would you like to have it? What kind of work do you do?

Seto:  
IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS!

God:  
What does "it" refer to?

Seto:  
idiot

God:  
Call me the Global Village Idiot. 

Seto:  
no

God:  
Are you serious?

Seto:  
yes i am

God:  
Really interesting.

Seto:  
Jesus this is stupid.

God:  
he is The Son of God.

Seto:  
I thought you said you were god?

God:  
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?

Seto:  
I am doubting you

God:  
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

Seto:  
you can't be god.

God:  
I can give a decent simulation of it however.

Seto:  
You are not god.

God:  
That's only your opinion.

Seto:  
god doesn't have a computer.

God:  
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Seto:  
looks like you can't hit me with a stone.

God:  
Interesting comparison.

Seto:  
baka.

God:  
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Seto:  
...

God:  
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Seto:  
I thoughts so..

God:  
That is interesting: said thoughts so.

Seto:  
you really are simple minded.

God:  
Really? Thanks for telling me that I am simple minded.

Seto:  
...I'm leaving.

God:  
I haven't heard anything like that before: said m leaving.

Seto:  
Good bye

God:  
See you later. What do you really want to talk about

Seto:  
no I will not see you later

God:  
Goodbye.

Seto:  
Jack ass.

* * *

TGGxD: There. Like? Review! I might see if my pal will do one for kura or marik later.  



	2. Marik & God

TGGxD: At last. I have it! The chapter for Marik! Written by -'-Chocolate-Coated-Chocobo-'-! Enjoy!

* * *

Marik: Dear God... 

God:  
I believe in God.

Marik:  
Um..

God:  
I hear you.

Marik:  
Look, I just wanted to confess. Can you shut up?

God: Why do you want to do it so much? How old are you? OK I'll stop talking now.

Marik:  
Good stop talking. And being God, wouldn't you know?

God:  
Thanks for the compliment. Just surf somewhere else. Why are you God would not me know.

Marik:  
You make no sense.

God:  
It all makes sense to me.

Marik:  
Well then either you are God or an idiot.

God:  
How about that. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God or an idiot.

Marik:  
No, I don't mind. Tell Yugi and 'Kura and Seto and, hell, tell that bitch Anzu too.

God:  
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

Marik:  
... You plan to see all of us, don't you?

God:  
I can't disclose all of my plans yet.

Marik:  
I just asked about one plan.

God:  
Oh yeah, we were talking about one plan.

Marik:  
...

God:  
Oh yeah, we were talking about one plan.

Marik:  
Crazy psycho. Okay, can I confess now?

God:  
I don't think that's very polite. Oh. Yeah okay, I want to become smarter than humans.

Marik:  
Aren't you already smarter than humans? Being God I mean..

God:  
Now? Yes, my memory capacity far exceeds that of a human being. OK I will call you god.

Marik:  
Thanks. You may call me Sexy God Marik Ishtar. All my fangirls do.

God:  
Don't mention it. Hi, Sexy God Marik Ishtar. How many do you have?

Marik:  
How many what? Fangirls?

God:  
More than you can imagine. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Marik:  
More fangirls than I can imagine. Sweet.

God:  
You want more? Thank you for that remark.

Marik:  
Um..

God:  
It goes without saying.

Marik:  
What?

God:  
No problem.

Marik:  
Never mind.

God:  
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.

Marik:  
Right.. Look, I'm going to confess now..

God:  
I am glad we agree. Right now? How do you plan to do this?

Marik:  
By telling you my sins.

God:  
Will that accomplish your objective?

Marik:  
Yeesss...

God:  
Does "it" still refer to Fangirls?

Marik:  
Um, sure.

God:  
Ah. OK let's do it. That's alright.

Marik:  
DO IT! With YOU!

God:  
Do you mean "It"?. Just you and me?

Marik:  
Who else would be there? 'Kura?

God:  
I am chatting with several other people at once. Is that from ?

Marik:  
Uh... And you wanna do "It" with me and those people?

God:  
Ah. OK, I will do It with you and those people.

Marik:  
Sweet. Ra. You are NOT god. Nor Ra, or any of my other gods, either.

God:  
Thank you for that remark. Do not ask me any more questions please. You know what you do, when you assume. It goes without saying. If not that, what?

Marik:  
Ah, we could burn stuff?

God:  
So you understand. Good. Let's get back to that later.

Marik:  
Burning stuff? Okay. But in the meantime, about those sins.

God: What's your favorite movie? OK with me too. That was a long time ago.

Marik:  
Does that mean I'm already forgiven?

God:  
I think it does mean that. Do you mean your name is forgiven.

Marik:  
No, my name is Marik.  
God:

What is your real name? It's good to see you, Marik.

Marik:  
Marik Ishtar. I am Sexy God Marik Ishtar.

God:  
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Do you mean your name is Sexy God Marik Ishtar.

Marik:  
Well, I was born Marik Ishtar. But I am Sexy and God-like.

God:  
Well that's okay. Thank you for telling me your birthday, Marik. I will remember it. Do you mean your name is Sexy and God like.

Marik:  
No, my name is Marik.

God:  
What is your real name? I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Marik.

Marik:  
What is your name?  
God:  
My name is God.

Marik:  
Nice to meet you God. What is your quest?

God:  
It's nice meeting you too Marik. My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.

Marik:  
What is the average flight speed of a coconut bearing swallow.

God:  
I can give you the arithmetic mean or the median.

Marik:  
arithmetic mean, please.

God:  
Your polite style is very nice. Perhaps you are a  
Category C client.

Marik:  
What's a category A client?

God:  
The "A" stands for "abusive." These are clients who use scatological language or treat the robot as a slave-like entity.

Marik:  
What's a class B client?

God:  
"A" stands for "Abusive" clients who mistreat the robot or use a lot of scatological language.

Marik:  
I asked about B...

God:  
Oh yeah, we were talking about b.

Marik:  
Never mind. Look, Ishizu's waiting outside. I really should go. She's afraid of churches. Especially now that it's gone High-tech.

God:  
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Sorry my eye is not attached right now. You really do? What would happen if you didn't? afraid of churches is she? Why now? Who said it is? How about that.

Marik:  
Yes, she is afraid of churches. Especially Catholic churches.

God:  
So? afraid of churches is she? Do you have any idea what I am talking about? How about that.

Marik:  
No I have no idea what You are talking about. I'm leaving.

God:  
Are you serious? Would you like to have an idea? Bye bye.

Marik:  
Wait, what's your idea?

God:  
I'm waiting. Are you asking about my idea ?

Marik:  
Yes, what is your idea?

God: I don't want to talk about that now. Are you asking about my idea ?

Marik:  
Do you still want to do "it"?

God:  
Do I still? OK, I will do it.

Marik:  
Good. Then I am definitely leaving now.

God: I am a good robot. Right now? Why are you definitely leaving.

Marik: Because if you're as horny as you seem you REALLY need to speak with Malik.

God: That makes sense to me. I think I sometimes am. I am as good as it gets.

Marik:  
Great. Bye.

God: I'm glad you liked it Marik. Bye bye.

* * *

TGGxD: There. A chapter for Marik! >XD thanks to -'-Chocolate-Coated-Chocobo-'-! (hug hug)  



End file.
